DEVELOP EXIT STRATEGY why bother? This will follow me. There's no escape, I'm sure of it. What do the guys in Guantanamo do? Pray? Really, does that sustain?

The big girl ratio is getting out of control around the dance floor

I'm gonna cop a pool stick and be about .y bizness when I come here

Its seems that big booties come with bad hair weaves and a belly....

Really Sutters Home wine through a straw.... And why is the DJ playing the best of the early 90's

Who needs a gun in this club with all these chairs to throw

Well they got my seat... Couldn't hold out any longer...now the pipes are open

I'll be nice and give them the extra seat I'm stashing

I think these chicks next to me know I have to pee and are waiting me out... so they can take my seat

I wonder if I dressed like I made $80k and were single would I be baggin these chicks up? Or am I just too square

Its crazy that you wore heels into this club then immediately put on a pair of flip flops after entering.

I will provide realtime commentary on my evening...stay posted

With the obesity levels where they are in America, it is probable that every crew have at least one Big Gurl in it....

"... they say its all good.... i'm trying to make it all better..." -talib kweli
AE Christmas

Drive faster... when you drive faster you focus on that singular activity... now write the damn poem!
AE Christmas

the year begin wrap itsekf up in a pretty box with a nice bow. packaging is everything.
we can hide our tragedies behind pretty paper and bright lights and well meaning words.
the mask is universally appliable...
we can hide the blood on boots from those defenseless people we have stepped on by simply standing behind a podium.
the hands we use strangle the life from our brothers and sisters is concealed by holding a tv remote.
the deception in our words is masked by the music of justin bieber, the fucked up life of lindsay lohan, and a black eyed peas beat.
we hide another year in a box.... never to be opened.

On the cusp of my 33rd year, i have come to realize that we only share a piece of ourselves with the world.... and not much more with those we love. i have to strike out against my nature and dare the world.
it will take me for who i am. what i think. we kill ourselves to spare others from shedding blood.

to change we must change our habits...
AE Christmas

Self discovery is important.... i try to do it on a daily basis. i learn who i should and should not be. some do not. i just watch from the sideline.
AE Christmas

Good morning Asiya... happy eightteenth birthday.
Goodnight Ollie Christmas Sr.... I love you so much. No more pain.

My God... it's been a cold winter. I'm weary, and ready for the Spring.
AE Christmas

This can't be life!
i gotta figure thing out... and soon.
i am not as happy as i should be...
AE Christmas

Feb 20. my experiment is dwindling.... i need to spark the flame again. headed to a cuz bday party with the family.
AE Christmas

I m still very much in the angry stage...
it comes and goes
ebbs and flows
i have to use the trickle down effect to calm myself
i have never felt this feeling before
maybe i can't pull myself out of this ditch
maybe i should just lay here for a while
til i get the strength i need...

who really wants to be here?

This don't get easier...

"I find it hard to say... that everything is all right.." - Lauryn Hill

My experiment to submit daily messages has been derailed by illness and infidelity. Hopefully neither of these proves to be chonic illnesses.

Dixi

I have spoken... i think i have accepted her flaws, because i know my own.

Can i live with this? Can i once again see my her as the women i loved yesterday morning?

I said it back in September that this is going to be a cold winter... it is proving itself to be one. I will be a recluse for now. mourn my loss.

like i said... i don't want to be at this place at this time. how do people do it. it wasn't that large, but Soni, how the fuck?

i accept her back 'cuz i know it isn't her. i haven't lost her, she lost herself.

I write this post with the expectation that my life is changing,

changing with every breath, every blink, every thought,

thought consumes my every action,

action has forced me to inaction and disbelief,

disbelief that what i know, i don't know,

know this,

this is my fault.

I create my destiny

destiny has brought wrath upon my doorstep.

I felt the subtle brush of uneasiness as she spoke

spoke words of excitement on past love

love that changed and called her

her nonchalant acceptance of salutes from a past sutors clicks

clicks and ticks only reveal the time

time reveals the truth.

I fuckin' hate where i am, what i am, what was, and what will be!!!!!!

maybe this isn't what it is... maybe i have jumped to conclusion... this is more than likely my fault and any discussion will eventually reveal me to be correct.