"... why can't i keep my fingers off you..."
its a perplexing life.
i am in new space.
i can't say if i'm in a better space,
just in a new one.
i don't want to fly away anymore.
i want to try and move forward in the lane i'm in.
my kids deserve it.
my wife deserves it.
i don't deserve shit.
"... Your breasteses is my breakfast, we going in, we be all night."
so visceral are these experiences. i'm not ashamed of what i committed myself to this year. that goes to most things. i realize now that i'm more complicated than i wanted to believe about me. its okay though, i like it like that. i like that i'm not "holier than thou". i'm not supposed to be, i am a sinner. i don't think i'll be revisiting some of my sins of the past. there's no need to.
