Wednesday, May 31, 2006
"I wasn't supposed to make it past twenty-five,..."
I've been on this planet in the "physical" form, now, for 28 years... And guess what? I ain't dead yet! That's right. I know i don't blog that often, so some might consider me dead at times, but low and behold, I return.
Aside from actually being here today, here are a few more accomplishments I can be proud to exclaim:
- I haven't been convicted of a felony, yet. This one was easy. But i'm sure most of us know the alarming number of black male's sitting behind bars. I mean, black men make up 12% of the population, but amass 44% of those incarcerated in this country, so I'm happy to have been able to escape that path for this long. I know that their are lots of statistics that contribute to these number's, but yet and still, i have thus far been able to steer clear of this one.
- I ain't dead yet. I remember in the late 80's and early 90's statistics saying that 2 in 10 Black children won't make it to the ripe ol' age of 25. As a 13 year old kid, that shit damn near blew me away. I started counting my friends, and wondering which of us wasn't gonna make it. It wasn't til later that statistics aren't always national, sometimes it only applies to a certain region. I can see why some of my friends went to do crimes and get real wreckless, because if you only got 10 years left, might as well enjoy that shit.
- I actually have a job. With the employment rate for Black men nearly triple than that of their white counterparts, and the quick and mostly ridiculous media reports assumptions, i can kinda understand why Black boys don't have a clue what to do with thier lives. I think i was lucky to have people in my life who could tell me about all types of careers to follow. But to many, thiers nobody they can see or interact with who's an Engineer, or a Pharmacist, or a AstroPhysicist. So if you don't see it, how can you be it? Thus the reason for the love of wanting to be an athlete or a rapper.
So in conclusion... there is much for me to be happy for at the young-old-age of 28... i mean 29.. dang i gotta get used to that number.
***Oh yeah i'd like to thank all the staticians out there for depressing Black people for all these years!!!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Go Me... it's your birthday.... i'm gonna party....
Well that's the official song for next Tuesday. I might not get many blogs done between now and then, so I figure now was a good time to get it done.
But if you're yearning for some of my writings, i implore you to check my older stuff. I think i have a lot of untouched posts on this site so please check me out.
I also would appreciate conversation about anything i've written so IM (instant message) me or drop a line somewhere.
Peace my people, and party safe and what not this weekend.
"One good thing about music,..."
As much as I admire and love Bob Marley; As much as I love the relevance and timelessness of his music and message; I'm beginning to see some untruth in this line.
Maybe because Bob recorded Trenchtown Rock in the 70's, years before the "Bling" era of rap music, he probably couldn't find much fault in making such a statement. But, my how times have changed. If there's anything that's causing me pain, it has to be music right now. Music playing on the radio right is killin' my spirit right now, and the fact that my CD player is not working properly, i'm kinda in a position where i either drink the "kool-aid" or die of thirst.
Since i really ain't down with the mass suicide that today's radio is assisting so many people with, I've been getting familiar with some Country Music.
Quick side note.... did ya'll know there is a country song called "Honky Tonk Badonkadonk"?? Dang, even country music is jackin' hiphop culture!
So I decided to list just a few of the most euthanising songs i've heard:
1. One of the worst is this song called Give me that Pussy (*excuse the language*). With lyrics like--
"...She might go back to the telly(hotel) with me,
Shake her jelly(body) with me,
Let my people bust(ejaculate) on her face and her belly with me..."
and, a chorus that tells women to "Give me that Pussy...", I can see how this can be considered radio friendly.
2. Next, is Gettin' Some Head. Now this song is not nearly as offensive as Give me that Pussy, but it's damn near close. It really just shows us how far backwards music as gone. I remember a time when this song wouldn't get played on the radio because of censorship, or if it was played, it was at the ass-crack of night. Nowadays I wouldn't be surprised to hear some high school band playing this at a football game.
3. Any of the songs that are out, or have been out recently glorifying the "Trap" life. The Trap is new slang for the hood or any drug-ridden, impoverished area. It originates out of the South, but i've heard my homeboy see people in Boston rock t-shirts with "TrapStar" written across them. I really hate the over glorification of criminal behavior that we seem to be constantly bombarding ourselves with. Isn't it bad enough that we call it the "trap"? Doesn't that signify something greater than a neighborhood? Maybe a "rat-trap", or a "mental-trap", and possibly even a "boobie-trap"... in other words, traps are cannot be a good place to be. Because you are then at the will of the "trapper".
Maybe i can't hold it against Brother Bob's famous lyrics, i mean may be it's a logic problem. Music does not cause pain. Some rap causes pain. Some rap is not music. Makes sense to me.
That's it for now. I'm sorry to realize that all the selected material for this post was formulated from the minds of the South. I'm am sure every region plays a part in this spreading of this self-inflicting-mind-deteriorating-culturally-genocidal epidemic, but since this is where i'm at, i have to talk what i know and what i hear.
Friday, May 19, 2006
Peace Brother Malcolm 1925-1965
I can't let this day go buy without having posted atleast one message commemorating the birthday of Brother Malcolm Shabazz. He is one of my few mentors and has meant a lot to me.
So Peace. Here are some links to information on him, I definitely implore you all to spend a few minutes honoring his memory by reading or listening to one of his many speeches. His messages are so relevant today that it's not even funny.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
I am Man, Hear me Roar...
You may ask, "what fumes has Verse been sniffin' on today?" Well i haven't been sniffin many fumes but i did have to some over the past 4 days. It all started on Thursday, when on my way to work i noticed a very noticeable "check engine" light on my car on my way to work. This wasn't good. So when i got to work i read in my car book, and found some cause for the potential wallet threatening warning. After doing some investigation, I summized that it must be a battery problem. So i decided to go to the dealership and have them run a check on my system and give me an estimate of how many children it's gonna cost me to get it fixed.
They come back in short order, and matter-of-factly, without any hint of remorse or regret, say...."it'll be about $980 to repair the car". What tha Fuck? $980! Damn! Damn these foreign cars...
Things I can do with $980:
-Buy daughter 3300 diapers, which would last about a week.
-Buy me the new XBox360 and 1 game.
-Buy my son 2 days at Disney, and maybe a soda there.
-Buy wifey a baby sitter so she can get a break.
So after i told them to just bring my car around and drove away, i did what i always do when my car is acting funny, i called my Dad. Since he's an mechanic, i figured he could best tell me what i should and could do on my own. After scoffing at the cost to repair, he then offered me the encouragement to do the work myself. I immediately began calling autopart stores in search of the best deal on the part i needed. I eventually found it for a cost of 180 bucks. So i ordered the part on Friday, and picked i up this past monday.
I used a couple of my paid days off and worked on it and completed the project yesterday evening. All in all i am happy, and i was able to drive it to work today, so i know it's working.
new part for your car....... $203
miscellaneous cost of working on it myself...... $62.00
having saved over $700, and being able to reaffirm my manhood....... priceless.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
4 things and First Year Lists
YOUR FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE.....
School: Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University located in Tallahassee, Florida.
Where did you live? Sampson—3rd Floor. P phi P (playa phi pimp) ran things that year.
Who was/were your roommate(s)? My man Jake from the Chi. I don’t think dude woulda made it through that year if not for all the goodies my Mom’s sent down.
Do you still talk to them? Nah. He moved back to the Chi. I think he coaches basketball up there.
Ever get in trouble in the dorms? nope, I knew how to run.
Something you remember about when you first lived on campus? playing dominoes all day. Ordering $5 pizza from this place called Backyard Pizza, and I could swear they made it in their backyard. Chillin’ on the “Set”. And going to the Biggie concert for free.
Your campus phone number or other number:who remembers that? Unless you’re a sophmore.
First party attended? It was at Diamonds n’ Pearls (DNP) it was off the chain, plus it was down the street from the school.
First Bar you got wasted at? Never drank in college.
Favorite Pizza Place? ”dominos. actually, the drivers weren't getting robbed until my class got there, then all hell broke loose. we were some fucking thugs for real.”—Nikki
Thanks to Nikki’s class Domino’s wouldn’t deliver when I got there. So BackYard pizza was the lick.
Favorite place to go out to eat? Guthries. The place had 5 things on the menu. Chicken finger box, Chicken finger sandwich, Toast, Drink, and maybe a salad.
Did you go to the library? all of the time. We weren’t allowed to have chicks in the room, so you had to take them somewhere. Get you one of the hidden “study” rooms and you were straight.
What was your Favorite Floor you'd always be on? Third Floor. Ya’ll betta recognize.
Club, Athletics, Frat or Sororities, you joined? P phi P. and Me Phi Me
Where did you buy your books? Books???
Who made the best wings? Don’t know.
Ever attend a sporting event? no doubt. It was FAMU, home of Mighty Hundred.
Ever attend a concert or comedic performance? Biggie Smalls was the illest. I saw Sommore (comedian) Earthquake, etc.
Have you ever spent the night on campus not in your dorm hall? Nah. i wasn't gonna get sent home over no chick.
Favorite night to go out on, and where did you go? Wednesday for Wicked Wednesday, also Thursday thru Tuesday as well. And I still banged out good grades freshman year…. What!
Where did you get your coffee? Don’t drink the stuff.
Favorite part of Halloween? ”what kind of fucking question is this? no really...what the fuck this gotta do with the list as a whole?”---Nikki
Go see a play or been in one? I saw one or two. The Three Mo’ Tenors.
Did you ever have a job at school? Yep. I worked at the car wash place down the street from the school. I did that for about a week. Worked at a gas station for two years.
What do you hate about your college? Not getting my Net Check on time. Don’t play with my money…
What did you love most about it? People I met. Life Education I got. Baby I made. Wife I found.
Ever leave to go on a road trip, where? All the time. Miami, Atlanta, Orlando, Gainesville, Panama City, J-Ville.
Where would you believe is the best location to live in? Palmetto Apartments. Atleast chicks could come in to your spot. Though they couldn’t come in your room… wtf?
Graduated or still attending? Graduated. FAMU…FAMU… FAM God damn U, alright, alright.
Will you go back? one day. Probably when my kids attend.
How many parking tickets have you gotten there? I left there with $800 dollars in fines, but they never made me pay them. I was only in that handicapped spot for ten minutes. Give me a break!
Finally, ever gotten arrested? Nope.
Four nicknames I've been given: I never had one…. Damn. Nobody like me enough.
Four movies I would watch over and over: Friday, Belly (first 5 minutes), Paid in Full, Carlito’s Way.
Four jobs that I have had in my life:
1. Chinese Restaurant (cut veggies all day)
2. tutor/teaching assistant
3. grocery bagger
4. On-site Government Representative to Contracting Officer aka baby sitter.
Four places I have lived: England, tallahassee, Germany, atlanta
Four TV shows I like to watch: My Name is Earl, BoonDocks, The Office, Everybody Hates Chris
Four places I have been on vacation: New Orleans, Netherlands, d.c., my momma house
Four things I could NOT live without: my music, my children, my functioning brain, and my camera. I had “my penis", but I opted for camera, afterall I do have children already listed.
Four of my favorite foods: oven baked macaroni, taco’s , cheesecake, fried catfish.
Four places I would rather be right now: at home with the FAM, reading (cause I’m supposed to be), taking pictures, playing in the rain like I used to when I was a kid.
Let me know if you get that Credit card. Cause i might need you to get me something with it.
Monday, May 08, 2006
It was getting late, and the darkness began to bleed onto the off-white colored walls, and furniture of the modestly decorated studio apartment. Shadows were being splattered across the picture frames that hung around the room. A murderous silence had engulfed the space.
He hadn’t moved from the Rent-a-Center branded, vinyl covered, metal framed chair in hours. It was obviously the most uncomfortable chair he owned, and although it made him squirm occasionally, he stayed there. The comforting he wanted would not be satisfied by any inanimate object, let alone a chair.
Maybe the chair was a, sort of, self imposed punishment, forcing him to recollect.
It was the 7:00 a.m. intolerable beeps of the alarm clock that had changed everything. Actually the clock is only partially to blame; most of it belonged to his subconscious mind. The part of his brain that had republished the repressed memories of “her". He had dreams of Nina in the past, but none played as prominently in his mind as this one had. This one had challenged him to accept something, which he didn’t want to believe.
Blind faith had always been a hindrance in Akil’s life. From politics and UFO’s, to religion and Love, Akil never believed anything until it was proven, and observed. And if he couldn’t witness it, then it didn’t exist. This was one aspect of his life that Nina had created a hiccup in; with the idea that some things come from a sense of knowing and feeling. Knowing that not all things’ can be revealed with an abacus and a chalk board, and feeling, a movement, internally towards something or somebody.
He appreciated and detested her for that.
He appreciated that she had been willing to challenge his philosophy. But he had a certain level of disdain for her, one, for the fact that she had been fairly successful in proving it. And, two, for where and what she had brought him through. For, Akil wouldn’t be sitting in this chair, on this Wednesday, watching the bloody shadows run down the faces on the pictures in his home, if not for Nina. It was her absence that had created the memories, that he had to suppress, that had permeated into and stained his consciousness at 7:00 a.m. this morning, which had forced him to punish himself by sitting in the worst seat in his home; contemplating her absence.
She had brought him to this point. Her selfishness. Leaving without reason, without speaking, without him, never to be seen again.
Reports said that her remains were found, and that she had taken her own life. That she had chosen to condemn her Soul to a fate worst than Hell. To the purgutorious world that held captive to those Soul’s that didn’t deserve the peace that Hell had to offer.
Akil couldn’t believe what he heard. Not that it shocked him, but the fact that Nina no longer existed. He had avoided all possible chances to view the remains of what was said to be her two-year old dead body. He believed that if he did not observe her death, nor saw proof, it couldn’t be true. That ideology had worked so many times before in his life. It had comforted him.
But now he was uncomfortable. He sat in his cheap, vinyl covered barstool, in total darkness, looking towards the pictures that hung on the wall. Even though he could not visibly see them, he knew they were there. He knew from a sense of knowing, and felt from a, sort of, internal movement that they were there, and that Nina was not.
He detested her for filling his head with such invalidatible theories of knowing and feeling.
Because if not for Nina, Akil wouldn’t be looking at the pictures hanging on his wall, and watching the blood and the shadows slowly engulf his space. He wouldn’t be sitting there, uncomfortably waiting to join Nina in that Hell greater than Hell.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Get on the Train.
before i continue, i emplore ya'll to check this site NeosoulCafe.com it is definitely playing some good music. Soul music. Why is it only black artist seem to be able to produce soul music? what, white folk are soulless? hmmm...
Anyways. I heard today in reports that American Movie Classic (AMC) channel broadcasted the movie, Birth of a Nation, last night. In Atlanta one of the morning show host, was upset about its showing, and the portrayal of Black folks in the movie. it cast a deeply disparaging view of an America where "we" are allowed to be free. We rape white women, are shiftless, lazy, good for nothings. We are considered renegades... until the Mighty KKKlan arrives on the scene to tame the "wild beasts".
So i listen to this radio host knocking the broadcast of such a vile piece, in todays modern era. How this movie can affect race relations, and the like.
Then i say to myself... i coulda swore this was the same host i hear playing self-denegrating music on the radio, and in the clubs he deejays. the same host i called once before because their morning local school "shout out" list aired adjacent to a Captain Morgans/Alcoholic Kool-Aid commercial. The hypocrisy is running rampant, and the number of messages we are sending to the youth, and the adults are ridiculous. And the message that usually gets heard, is the one with a finger snap on the track, or the one with Lil' Jon screamin' on it, or the one that has the catchy hook, the hook that is geared towards pre-schoolers.
We sometimes shout at the blatant signs of racism, but do little about the more subversive acts of it. Why?
Do we really think we have the power if "we" are the ones calling ourselves lazy, whoremongering, irresponsible people? i guess as long as it ain't nobody but us doing it, it's okay.